I tried to kill myself several times. You know, I used to go to the pub, come back, you know, take the knife out and sit there crying. And sat in the dark crying hysterically, with the knife at my wrist. Tore the skin several times, but never really had the courage to go through it. There's nothing that will ever replace to get in the ring, you know. 60,000 people like that at the city of Manchester Stadium cheering your name. "The new Light Welterweight champion of the world", you know. It will be hard to replace it, I think. It's like once your time's gone. It's like "alright, on your way, and we move on to the next". You know, superstar coming through, or the next champion coming through, and you are left a little bit on your own. And thing is with boxers, we don't come from Cambridge, we don't come from, you know, places like that. We come from council estates. So generally boxing is all we knew.
My boxing career is over and I've accepted it. But if you in a long term, when you've look at death in the face a little bit, you know. And you've come out the other end. You know, I am stronger for it. But now I've come to accept that I never gonna speak to my parents again. I've come to accept that, you know, boxing is never gonna come back. And you know, I should look at boxing with at the good times not the bad times. You know, I deal with things a lot better. But every now and then, I do have a little bit of a wobble. And I just have to speak to someone and get it off my chest, yeah. Instead of holding it in, that's the key. You know as boxers, we don't do that, we think "I am Ricky Hatton, I am Tyson Fury, I can take on the world". And to be honest with you, you can take on the world in the ring, but this problem called depression we can't take it on. We're out of our comfort zone with this depression. And I certainly was. And whenever I have bad days, now I've been speaking to someone to get it off my chest. You know and I have no shame in telling that. And that's probably why I'm still here today.